In My 20's...Pt. 11: "Inter-Dependence"

INTERDEPENDENCE

Let's break it down.

Dependence- the state of relying on or needing someone or something for aid, support, or the like. The state of being determined, influenced, or controlled by something else.

Independence-

1. not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself: an independent thinker.

2. not subject to another's authority or jurisdiction; autonomous; free: an independent businessman.

3. not influenced by the thought or action of others: independent research.

4. not dependent; not depending or contingent upon something else for existence, operation, etc.

5. not relying on another or others for aid or support.

6. rejecting others' aid or support; refusing to be under obligation to others.

Interdependence- the act of being mutually dependent; depending on each other.

I learned that complete dependency on someone is not healthy. You should never find yourself in or through someone else. Never give someone so much precedence over your life that you can no longer find yourself when you look in the mirror.

I also learned that being completely independent isn't exactly the best place to be either. It creates pride, petulance, the notion that you are "better" than everyone else, etc.

DO NOT misinterpret me. Independence is GREAT!!! But if you break down the best definition of the word, you'd quickly realize that NO ONE is independent. It is in that revelation that you quickly find that inter-dependence is not only a good thing, it’s a smart thing.

You can be an independent thinker. You can be an independent woman. But the things around you create that independency. We can't all be independent of authority. Maybe in our personal lives, but in our work lives, in our relationships, in our familial responsibilities, authority isn't something we can be independent of. Most of the time, we ARE the authority.

In a lot of cases, we can't be independent because we have so many people in our lives dependent on us, and we have an obligation to them (such as bosses, children, spouses, friends, family) and that is when your inter-dependence shows. When we realize without angst that we depend just as much on all of those people that depend on us, we are a healthy people! That is the exact definition of interdependence!

It should be everyone's goal to become inter-dependent! What a great respect it is to be able to be independent, but know that when the chips are down, you have enough smarts and less pride to be able to ask for help. Knowing when and how to ask for help when you need it is the key to becoming interdependent. Knowing when to set aside pride is another key. Knowing when it's time to help someone else in their time of need, whether they break down and ask, or won't ask, due to pride or embarrassment, is also a key of inter-dependence. You are also setting a great example to that person who is pushing the line of inter-dependence!

Examples of those NOT inter-dependent: