Funny Fair Stories...

So we went to the FAIR. BOO-YEAH! It was our 2nd time around but the first time wasn't really that eventful.

So RAVEN was on the playlist tonight. Great. BIG mess there. I really don't need to get into it anymore than that. Who cares about Raven!

So this (politically correct) African American man passed us inside the EXPO and was staring at Garland. I noticed he had one hand on one of his hips and the other swinging rather feminely beside him. I was staring at him, too, but he didn't notice me. As he passed us his eyes followed Garland, who was oblivious to the man because he was busy trying to help Natalie with her ice cream cone.

We went down the other aisle and towards the middle, this same man, still staring at Garland, appeared. As he passed us this time, I heard him say in a VERY VERY GAY WAY: "Mmm Mmm, check out the chest on him!" and he FLIPPED...yes.FLIPPED....his hand near his head and kept walking.

OMG. I cracked up. I couldn't help it. I thought that was the highlight of the night. Garland is looking at me like I have LOST my mind. I explain to him and he gets all self concious. So this leads me into

Funny Fair Story Numero Uno:

"What's so funny?" He demanded

I am laughing so hard I can barely respond.

"Whatever!"

I sober up. "That black man is GAY!" I whisper, not wanting to be attacked by the African Americans for calling them 'black.'

"What man?"

So, unabashadly, I point. Yes. Point.

"How do you know?"

"He was CHECKING you OUT! He said Mmm Mmm, check out the chest on him!"

Garland: "Is there something wrong with my chest?"

Then, I ran into Rhonda. AS IF she's not CRAZY enough at my house...how crazy do I think she'll be at the FAIR! With her hubby and all the brood in tow, she is trekking across the fair in search of FUNNEL CAKES. Which, btw, we'd already had and mmmm delicious! Along with Turkey Legs and Caramel Apples. For your enjoyment, here are a few de.li.cious. pics.

Funny Fair Story Numero Dos:

Rhonda apparently is a lot more blonde than her hair. Her favorite words in sentences are: NO F-ING WAY!, OH MY F-ING GOD!, LIKE, and HOP IN MY RIDE, LET'S ALL HOOPTY UP TO MY CRIB!

Rhonda got some money for gas. She goes to the great Pride of Oklahoma, QT. She parks. She runs in. She pays for her gas. She comes out. She leaves.

What did she leave out?

She didn't get her GAS! She paid for $80.00 worth of GAS and drove off without pumping!

Needless to say, she calls QT on her cell, they verify she DID pay but DIDNOT pump. She drives back to QT, goes in to verify with QT Manager, grabs a DP from the fountain, then pumps her gas. She leaves.

WITH HER Dr. Pepper on the top of her SUV!!!!

Oh well, she can spend 4 bucks on ANOTHER DP at the fair!!!!!

HAHAHA Sorry Rhonda!!!! Had to share!!!!

Funny Fair Story Numero Tres:

I took the girls into the petting zoo. They loved it! Feeding and petting the animals is always a fun treat for Livi and Nat. Natalie was having TOO much fun running around. I should have brought my harness for her just to keep her in line!

Anyway, we went to the huge pen where the goats and pigs and geese and the rooster and turkeys were at. Natalie remembered the Turkey Leg we'd just eaten when we were at the fair a few days ago, and she saw that Turkey running around the pen. In the LOUDEST VOICE I have ever heard in my life she screamed:

"MOMMY! I WANT TO EAT THAT TURKEY'S LEGS!!!"

First, everyone got quiet. Then, ripples of laughter started as people began to realize that the owner of the voice was a cute little 2 year old blonde with her big blue eyes fixated on a damn TURKEY. Within SECONDS, everyone was laughing uproariously and needless to say, Natalie ended up with a turkey leg.

Ok, so that was our night at the fair.