I AM TOTALLY DESPERATE!!!

For next week's episode of Desperate Housewives...and the week after that...and the week after that and the...!!!!

So how freaking crazy was tonight's episode? I was really wondering how the writers were going to follow up to last week's bang! of an episode (pun def. intended!). When you get good episodes like the last one, it's rare that you see another one of the same calibur, only different in portrayal. Tonight's episode had me on the edge of my seat just as much as the previous one did...only in a different manner. Last week's was at the edge of my seat in suspense because there was a whacko with a gun and you just knew Nora was a goner before she ever got shot. This week was more like...ok...when are you going to show me the good stuff...and I thought the good stuff was around every corner. Subtle, but there.

I knew beyond a doubt when Lynette and her son let themselves into the new guy's (Art) empty house, some dirty little secret would be revealed. Imagine my suprise...the last thing on my mind thinking about new-guy-Art, saving-Lynette-Art, normal-decent-Art, was that he was a pedophile. Who'd have friggin' guessed? Guess you really never know someone...and especially a NEW someone...no matter what good deed is done. (Case in point: Remember BTK??) LOVE♥LOVE♥LOVE the new angle! I'm way excited to see that even a nighttime soap opera can go somewhere beyond comas and affairs and murderous scandals. This has promise written all over it!

Now why would Orson give Bree information about his mother is he wanted to keep her such a secret and hated her soooo much? Obviously there's a murder-suicide-whatever angle hiding there just waiting for the right moment to rear it's ugly head and create disaster for everyone involved...including Bree. I have a feeling she's going to have a 20 to life husband, or become another widow by the end of this scenario. I thought for sure when Bree said "I don't know what the fuss is about, it's just an address Orson." that Orson was going to give her a fake one, but nooo. He can't do that...so here goes Bree...she tries so hard to do good and it ends up just all evil in her face. No wonder she's psycho. So Dixie Carter plays Orson's mother. One minutes she's Betty White from Golden Girls sweet, the next she's telling Orson she should have smothered him in his crib when she had the chance! How.Spectacular.Was.She. I literally cracked up when Andrew, on cue, asks "So, can we call her Grandma?"

Poor Gabrielle. I was expecting much more for her. You'd think that someone with her past in modelling, she'd be more revered than she was. She was treated awfully...just awful! I mean for someone who was on as many covers of Vogue as she was, should be somewhat famous and treated with respect, correct? I mean look at Twiggy, and that other lady you see on America's Next Top Model...I forget her name, but she's a total bitch and now has her own series...Janet something. It just doesn't make sense. I guess for the show, they couldn't have Gabby gallavanting back and forth from New York to Wisteria Lane without cutting a lot of her out of the script. I was sad to watch her photo shoot...she looked completely ripped apart, but the scenes of her modeling class for next week look very exciting!

I.am.so.sick.of.Edie.and.Susan.and.Mike.

I so need my own site: www.ihateedie.com ...not, it's not real. I wish!

I am at the point where I don't even want to see the Edie.Susan.Mike scenes. They suck. We know what Susan and Mike meant to each other. How easy it is for Edie to manipulate and hurt someone!

Edie is a slut. I cannot stand what she is doing to Susan and Mike. She is heartless and cold. I hope she gets hers too. The more I watch her, the more I secretely smile that she gets cut out of a lot of "DH" photo shoots. I know it's a show...but...grrr!!!!

Susan is a dumbass. What's with the Brit!?! I repeat: What's with the Brit!?! Aren't we supposed to be thinking about MIKE?! HELLO!!!!! Can we say "Dumb Brunette Alert!" Classic case of a woman who is afraid to be alone!

Mike. Does he not know how to smile anymore? He's so down all the time! Sure, he just got out of a coma, but must he always be so...solemn? I guess there's no other way to be when you've got Edie Brit feeding you loads of bullshit on an hourly basis.

Ok, let's get down to the nitty-gritty:

Orson or Mike killed Monique. Which one? Why?

Art: Pedophile or just a really avid photographer of his swim-team boys? Will Lynette confront or conceal her knowledge?

Mike: Will he eventually snap out of his stupor? When?

Susan & the Brit: When will his wife awaken from her coma?

**SIGH** Now you know why I'm desperate...