Wives are at stake...

My JAW is touching the floor. Literally. YEAH.

I got back from Vacation in time to tune into this week's episode of Desperate Housewives. Oh yes. They never whet my appetite quite enough. Each week it gets better and better. This week was one for the books!

• Lynette became remorseful and upset when she saw the way the neighborhood people were reacting to her claim of Art being a pedophile. She was apologetic and even defended him against being stoned and picketing in his front yard. She was rewarded for this by him thanking her for his sister's death. When Lynette looked confused, he explained to her (in less words than I will use) that it would be easier for him to molest little boys now that he doesn't have to take care of his ailing sister. And he's moving. YIKES!


• Gabby and her personal shopper Vern want to dump a girl named Amy from their roster of beauty pageant contestants since she sucks. But when Gabby meets Amy's extremely handsome (but HAS GOT to be GAY) father, (he's SINGLE), she offers to give Amy private tutoring instead. Amy sees Gabrielle flirting with her father and says she doesn't want her dating him because she has plans for him to marry her best friend's mother. So Gabby turns Sheri (the best friend of Amy and the most talented of their contestants) against Amy by saying she's planning on making them dance together in the show and encouraging Sheri to tell Amy that she sucks. With the girls' friendship over, she's free to date Bill. Not to mention, Gabby still has the whole telling the girls how to lose weight the "model way" (puking, smoking, etc...) to move past!


• Mike got arrested. Of course. The poor amnesiac dumbass was burying evidence and got caught. What'd he expect? Well, not EDIE BRITT DUMPING HIS ASS IN JAIL! I was so excited, I could hardly stand it! The only thing is now...with Mike free...how will he and Susan be together? Either the Brit's gotta DIE...or his wife must wake up! (Or maybe HE murdered Monique???)


• Susan snooped in Bree's house and got a key to Orson's office where she found some incriminating evidence. She came to Mike's rescue, but at a price. She can't see him anymore as long as the Brit gets the absolute BEST and most SPIRITED lawyer to defend Mike. Susan agrees, as she has told Mike she'd bail him out and help him, etc... The Brit did NOT like that, but got the lawyer as long as Susan agreed to not meet with Mike again so that he couldn't fall back in love with her. (Kinda creepy...)


• Bree and Susan are not speaking. Bree kicked Orson out because she found out about his previous affair with Monique. She assumed then that Orson killed the girl. That is, until Mike was arrested for the murder, which gave Bree a sigh of relief. She made the mistake of telling Susan she thought Orson killed Monique and when she refused to go to the police, Susan got very angry and ended up having a "who was more likely to kill Monique" argument at the poker table in front of the other desperates.


• Bree and Orson tell Gloria they've rented her a condo and she's out of their lives for good. So Gloria makes a phone call, arranging for someone to pick her up. When the car arrives, the window rolls down to reveal Alma (Orson's "missing and assumed dead" wife)alive and well!

Man...we need like...everyday needs to be Sunday Thursday Sunday Thursday.